Thursday, December 30, 2021
Tuesday, October 12, 2021
I’ve been absent this year. Absent from writing, from art, and from many other things that I enjoy. I’ve been healing.
In January of 2020 my husband left me. I won’t go into the drama of it all because I’ve learned it doesn’t matter anymore. It happened. It’s over. It’s time to move on.
Last week was our divorce hearing and we both agreed on everything in a civil manner. It took me a long time to get into court and by then it was obvious there was no fixing us. After court we got as close to closure I think I will ever get. I’ll never really know what happened. Why I wasn’t enough or why I was allowed to be put through so much pain.
That pain. It was like drowning but never-ending.
I struggled a long time with my grief and thankfully wasn’t alone through it. I had family and friends to look in on me when I was at my lowest. I’m thankful for all those who helped me through this life lesson. I learned that I am fine being who I am. I feel a lot. I love a lot. And when I hurt, I hurt a lot. I’m a weirdo, and I’m totally ok with that. Most people can’t handle me but I’ve learned that I can’t allow that to bother me anymore.
The Ex and I have decided to put the past behind us and try and be friends. We have both moved on in relationships and are happy now. Well I hope he is as happy as I am in mine. Michael has been everything I wanted in love! He is the kindest soul I've ever known! I can only hope Daniel finds the same in his new girl.
Sometimes people are too different to make things work, and love is not enough to make it. And that's ok! Things evolve and we live and learn. There are no more hard feelings from me on what happened. I'm even sleeping better!
For the sake of the kids I will do my best to always involve their father in this family.
My wish for the future is a happy co-parenting family where we are all free to be who we are!
Friday, July 24, 2020
Friday, July 17, 2020
My life is in turmoil at the moment which also makes staying focused more difficult and has attributed to the deeper depression and anxiety issues. I've realized now that I can't allow that to stop me from completing my goals. In fact, I'm now in the process of creating a ten-year plan. I want to set goals for in ten years down the line that I myself can accomplish for myself so when my children are grown and no longer need me I will have a purpose in this world.
One of those lofty goals I started months ago. Get this book done and published! Be it through traditional or self-publishing. I'm not far from being done with the final edit either!
With the help of all of you reading my book I think I can achieve at least this one ten-year goal and make a better future for myself. So please stick with me through my moopy days and feel free to send me a nudge if I get to slacking again. Knowing that there are people out there that enjoy and look forward to my chapters each week is a great motivator and mood lifter.
If you haven't heard yet, I have a discord I am starting up for people to stay in contact and chat with me. I'm planning some fun once I get some members so feel free to join. You will also get notifications when I go live on Twitch and get art and writing sneak peeks!
I hope you enjoy Chapters 9-12 this week and I look forward to getting you next week's chapters!
Thursday, June 11, 2020
As I posted on social media my grandmother had a seizure and had to be admitted to the hospital, but my grandfather wasn't allowed to join her because of the covid rules... even though they were going back to business as usual on Monday. Thankfully they released her early saying she had plenty of care at home. I think they just regretted not allowing Grandfather with her and were paying the price of her honesty. Then we had to talk her out of going to the races as soon as we got her home. After many failed attempts to wheel herself to the gate at a snail's pace, she finally relented and went to bed.
Many thanks for all who checked in on her <3
I hope you all continue to enjoy Wild Fire and that you have an amazing weekend!
Friday, May 29, 2020
Tuesday, May 26, 2020
Friday, May 22, 2020
Wednesday, May 20, 2020
If you are still following me here on my little island on the internet, have I got news for you! And if you are new, welcome, settle in, and have patience, as I am always a work in process!
Big news! Starting this week I will be introducing Friday Fire. What’s this? I'll be sharing a new chapter of my ever work in progress Wild Fire in order to spur me into finishing edits and someday publishing my first novel.
A lot has transpired this year that has lit the fire in my heart once more to be the woman I once was. I've allowed my depression and anxiety to strip too much from me and this is just one of many changes I'm making to better myself and my life not just for me but for my pack as well.
Many great things in the works here folks and I'm super excited to start this new adventure with you all!
See you Friday with Chapter 1 of Wild Fire!
Sunday, January 12, 2020
As you may have noticed the graphics have changed around here and now reflect my twitch graphics. Things are coming together and I'm extremely excited. Despite my recent setbacks due to family needing my assistance the past few weeks and a few plumbing issues I've had to attend to, I've managed to link all my accounts under one brand.
Today I finished setting up and launching my brand new discord server (pun intended)! Everything that will be happening either here on my website or on twitch will be available in the discord. Later I will also be sharing chapters from my writing and art projects or commissions.
As my brand grows I hope to have more roles and fun activities to do within the discord server and here. So stay tuned because there is much more to come!
Come join me on my adventures!
Thursday, January 2, 2020
It is officially 2020 and with that comes all the wonderful resolutions and such. So, what’s going Arai in 2020?
Well, there will be updates within my discord that will be released for use along with my blog, art, and twitch activities called “What’s goin Arai”. As my gamer name is Araili, a play on the word awry. Why? Because things always seem to go awry with me. I’ll be focusing on my branding and merging everything to work as one brand revolving totally around me and who I am as a gamer, writer, artist, mother, yada yada yada…
Speaking of writing… I’ll be focusing certain hours of the day to dedicate totally to writing. Keep an eye on my twitter or discord when it arrives because I may be sharing excerpts of what I’m working on.
My blog will be getting a makeover this year as well. I’m not certain as of yet what I want to go with, but it’s been a few years since I’ve done anything here. The recent renewal of my web address made me realize how long I’ve neglected this place. It’s time I refresh this place and really work on drawing in new readers! I’m thinking of a serial web series that I can post right here.
Art commissions will be coming as I get my schedule situated. With that comes more art streams.
I’ll be streaming some games more as well. FFXIV and probably Minecraft. I may branch out more to other games depending on time. As you can see I’m cramming a ton into my schedule
Many wonderful things that I would like to get going this year that I have said I would like to do for some time now. I hope you will travel with me in my adventures this year!!!
Monday, November 11, 2019
For a long time in my FFXIV experience, I was a part of a large FC (guild) and I helped to run it with a council of friends and the leader of the FC. Over the summer, however, things came to light of how horrible our leader was treating others and manipulating us. So after an exodus of over a hundred people, a ton of drama, and being called every sour name this "leader's" small mind could utter, we created our own community. While we held no animosity for those that chose to stay, many of us just could not follow or trust this leader and needed to find happiness our own way.
It was a hard few months while we managed the turmoil our leaving had caused not only to us but those that stayed behind. Our FC had been close. The friends I made being so dear to me I called them brothers and sisters. Now those that left were called traitor by our ex-leader because we chose not to follow their dictatorship, and the lies they spread about us took a toll on us all. Our hearts broke and many of us suffered anxiety and depression after the split. We did the best we could to support each other through those strenuous days.
To most this was just a game, but the relationships forged in this game world are so very real.
After we set out on our own many of us went into other FC's or made our own. But we had a discord connecting us and an in-game linkshell. We started running player made events together, having parties, Halloween events, running treasure hunting parties, doing daily content, and even playing other games together. See, though we had split into many factions, our bond was stronger than ever!
Then during a live letter stream, it was announced that a new feature of the game would be available. Fellowships! It was like Yoshi-P heard our troubles and gave us a tool to help us through.
This feature allowed us to plan events through posting on a board within the game. All of our friends' FC's could be added to keep track of all the amazing stuff we were doing together. Thus, The Fellowship of Friends was made!
With the latest 5.1 update we were also given a new raid that was a collaboration with Nier. The first Friday after the new raid dropped our Fellowship gathered for the new 24 man raid and filled EVERY position! Not only that but we cleared it in under an hour and with only one wipe (where you fail a boss battle and must start that battle once more).
The pride we all felt had us giddy and giggly. We had a blast storming The Copied Factory together and even stuck around for commemorative screenshots after.
This post is not to dredge up months old drama in any way. This post is a celebration. This post is about the pride I have in my friends and how much I love them! People ask me why I enjoy this game so much. It's for times like these! When you and your friends overcome all the obstacles put before you to create something amazing and have the best of times together.
I couldn't share my adventures with any better people!
If you play Final Fantasy XIV feel free to stop in and say Hi! My game name is Aralina Arai'li from Midgardsormr. Interested in checking out FFXIV for yourself? Play for free today! If you need any help with set up, send me an email. I'd be happy to assist!
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Loudly I exclaim “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”
The surprise attack has the desired effect.
She jumps nearly off the bed then glares at me. “Moooooom!”
Snickering I again ask what she is up to.
She explains she is writing a book.
That’s right folks. My daughter has become a writer! *Insert proud mom face here*
She and her friends had started writing a story together about a zombie apocalypse or something of that sort, and she had fallen in love with the act of storytelling. I now can find her curled up in her favorite corners about the house writing in her notebook and proudly telling me each night how many chapters she was able to get done. She has always had a love for reading, ever since I taught her when she was three because she simply could not wait for pre-k to learn to read. She was already piecing words together from billboards or road signs. Now she is using her creativity to use those words and make her own stories come to life!
I’m impressed. I’m Proud. I’m... jealous?
I admittedly am quite jealous. She has that joy of writing that I lost years ago when I moved from Abilene. I’m not sure how I lost it really, but writing became a chore. I put it off. Made excuses. Eventually, I quit trying at all.
After watching her work on her story the past few weeks I started feeling that urge to work on my own stories. I’ve always got some ideas brewing, and have quite a few notes and scribbles in my notebook, but have never had the drive to follow them down the rabbit hole again, until now.
The last two weeks all I can think of is stories. Reading stories, editing stories, fleshing out new stories. I want my stories to live! I want to share them and say I did something.
So I’m back at it again. Working through the mood that I am nothing special, and breathing life back into my stories, and I have my amazing, beautiful, creative daughter to thank for lighting that spark once more!
Saturday, March 30, 2019
If you know anything about me by now, you know I'm into many hobbies. Art, gaming, reading, and writing are only a few of the many things I entertain myself with. This year I have tried to veer more towards allowing my blog to reflect the variety that is my interests. Now I plan for so much more. I'm bringing my daughter in for her own writings. She plans to start working on a type of foodie blog which I told her she is welcome to use a page from my site to write it. (Can you say proud mom?)
She is also joining me in my favorite MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV as the young Miqo'te adventurer Swaggiekawaii Potatoe (Po for short). We plan to do co-streams this summer and we will be making a page here to chronical the adventures of Po.
So please keep an eye out for our streams and check back here for more information on The Adventures of Po!
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Sounds fun right? Sit in front of a screen and do what you love for the entertainment of others. A dream come true, right? Bahahaha! NO!
|I created my own overlays|
|Also did my own logo and buttons for the stream info page|
|Photoshop stream layout and also will be used for writing stream|
But I need help and support.
I need followers, I need people to come to my channel and chat with me and the other viewers, and I really need everyone behind me pushing me to keep at it, and not give up just because I'm scared.
So if you have a chance to stop into Araili's Den, please do! Come say hi, ask me questions, create an account and give me a follow. It will alert you when I go live! I also have a Discord that will be an official hangout for all those who wish to follow.
Hopefully, after the internet is fixed (insert internet provider drama here) and I can get back to streaming more regularly, I can set up a schedule so you can catch your favorite streams. Until then you can check out my channel, discord, and twitter to stay up to date on my streaming activities!
Friday, December 14, 2018
|My FFXIV Character Aralina Arai'li|
In this game, there are free companies, or what most people call guilds in other games. It’s a group of players who band together to help each other out in game. Our FC is large and one of the top FCs on our server. We also have several social media outlets to stay in contact with each other. Many of them I am in charge of as an officer of our FC. One of these outlets is Discord. A voice and text chat app. You can talk with your friends while running content in game for quicker easier communication or just sit and BS.
What does this have to do with writing? Wait just a moment, I’m getting there.
So I’m working on my edits late one night in an empty house. One of my writing quirks is I like to watch paranormal shows and spooky movies while I write. I’m making progress, chugging along through the WIP and all of a sudden I hear a loud and boisterous “Ahoy, Aralina!”
|Aralina and Siegfried|
My Chihuahua and I jumped clear out of the chair.
I realize that somehow Discord had connected of its own accord and my friend Siegfried had popped into the channel I was unwittingly sitting in to check in on me. Flustered, I closed the chat without a reply. This prompted Sieg to message me to see if I was ok (because he is a super sweet dude!) and I then had to explain how he had scared the pee out of me and my little dog too…
So kids, lesson learned. Always ensure discord is disconnected when writing horror in a dark empty house while watching paranormal shows.
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
I’ve been quiet far too long. I had given up. I didn’t feel I could or should write, I didn’t think I was much of an artist, and my overall faith in my own worth was at an all-time low.
That has changed. My family is building me back up. They push me to be better, not for their sake, but for my own well being. They push me to write, drag me out of the house and insist on spending time with me. They are extremely vocal about my capabilities as a writer, to a point where I am clawing my way back to the keyboard each day to tackle, “just one more chapter…”
I want to do this for myself. I want to succeed and show myself how wrong I am about myself. I guess you could say I am starting my new year's resolution a month early. My goals are to finish my edits for Wild Fire, outline and write the sequel, finish writing Mommas Here, and of course more blogging!
I have many things to write about these days, from the armored combat league our family is obsessed with, to my attempts at streaming and gaming, and then there is the writing and the writing stream I've been working on. I’m getting excited just typing this!
Yep, it’s time to change my way of thinking. This isn’t work. This is fun. I’m a lucky girl to have such supportive family to remind me of what a gift I have!
I hope you will bear with me as I excavate this talent, and share with me in the rediscovery of my love of writing!
Thursday, February 8, 2018
As usual, I turn to creativity to rejuvenate that steam. I don't know why making art of any form seems to pull me from the gloom I settle into. It starts with doodles on paper, then progresses to photoshop paintings, and if I'm lucky I pick up enough momentum to write.
This week I have opened up Wild Fire for the absolute final edit. Everyone will be happy and I can go on to work on my other works without complaint that I should finish WF first. I'm chugging right along on the edits, though, and after such a long absence from this story, I'm actually enjoying the read through.
I've started to stream my art from time to time. It's not much right now because I haven't been consistent, but I hope to make a real go at it. It pushes me out of the shy shell and forces me to socialize a bit. Keep an eye out for my next stream!
I'm also contemplating opening up art commissions... Something I've never done and am nearly terrified of doing. I still carry plenty of self-doubts that I'm good enough to attempt that venture. I did, however, learn to make twitch emotes today, and gifted a streamer I was watching the first one I ever made. He was cracking me up while playing FFXIV and his cat wanted in his way. He kept yelling "CAT! No cat not now!"
So I did what I do when something amuses me, and doodled it. Then since I was studying how to make emotes, I turned it into one.
The streamer thought it was so cute and thanked me on stream! Yay!
I'll take all the happy I can get right now, even if it is giving away free emotes to strangers. What can I say, making other people happy, makes me happy!
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Goodbye Halloween decorations. Goodbye haunted houses and zombie laser tag. Goodbye all the wonderfully spooky horror flicks.
And Hello Nanowrimo.
Ah yes, that crazy month where writers add to the crazy that is the holiday season with adding a 50,000 word count to their novel.
Now it's no secret I've struggled with writing these past couple years. I've been admonished from family, friends, and even my own children a time or two. I bet if my animals could talk, they too would have something to say about my total lack of writing.
But no more.
Today while transferring files over from my DinoDell to my NewPretty I passed through some old NanoPrep files. That started the itch. I got my Scrivener file with my latest WF2 outline (the old had been scrapped) updated and saved conveniently to my desktop. I visited TweetDeck for the first time in probably two years. I also updated MyWriteClub, and of course my Nanowrimo dashboard. I even downloaded Write-o-meter on my phone for pomodoro sprints.
I figure the best way to get back into writing is to do like we do when swimming at the creek. Just jump all in. Face first if you have to.
While setting things up my daughter got curious about what I was doing. I explained Nanowrimo to her and told her that there was even a version for kids.
Now there are two McBays scrambling to get prepped in time for Nano!
She has already toyed with her own stories, and her teacher is quite proud of her creativity, so I know she will really enjoy this challenge.
Wish us luck and a bountiful word count!