The first of the year I was promoted at work from insulator to one of two learning management authors. I was and am so thrilled at my new position. It did come with a bit of a learning curve and training. Not only was I responsible for writing the training for my replacement insulators, but I had to train them physically as well because we didn't have anyone else who was knowledgeable in the processes and expectations required for the job. On top of that, I was studying for my Adobe Captivate Certification. I was determined to pass the certification exam and proudly did so! I'm really loving my new job, my coworker, and my boss. They are great people to work with. They have both taught me so much and I strive to always give them my best work. In return, they have allowed me more freedom in my schedule to take care of myself and my family.
Last month was a big change for me as my boyfriend and I decided to close the distance. He has been staying with us and helping me out with managing the house and kids. He has been such wonderful support and comfort to me through some really tough times.
Sunday my Granny passed away. It wasn't sudden though it does feel sudden. She has been ill for a while, but her health declined rapidly last month. I was able to talk to her one last time and tell her how much I loved her and she said she loved me too. My only hope is that she knows I'm going to be ok. She worried so much about me after my ex left and my only wish is that she knew I was healing from that. I found a new love. Better love. Someone who not only cares for me but also thinks the world of my little geeklings and accepts them for who they are.
Yesterday we laid her to rest. It was a beautiful service and so many people showed up to pay their respects. She was so loved by the community and the little church where they always attended every Sunday was completely full. There were so many people that many of them had to stand in the back. I was so proud of my family. We came together to support each other, and most of all to support my grandfather.
She leaves behind a great legacy of three children and eight grandchildren. She was the best grandma anyone could have wished for. My wish after yesterday is that we don't drift apart now that she is gone. That we continue to show up. That we take care of each other and of the husband she left in our care.
My heart is heavy. I didn't expect to feel this pain in my chest so soon after I had finally gotten it to pass. I feel selfish with my grief. This is life. We live, we love, and we lose. Until our time comes and we leave this existence. I hope I leave as great a legacy as she did when my time comes. To love unconditionally and do my best, not just for those I love, but those who need love to survive.
I'm sure the pain will pass as it did before, but for now, I'll sit with it, learn from it, and think hard about the lessons she gave us.
I have much to do these days, but I will continue to work hard, love hard, and enjoy the little things life has to give. This is my promise to you, Granny.
I hope I make you proud.