What's going Arai~ 2022 edition

This year has been full of ups and downs. It's been busy beyond measure. I'm not going to lie, I've been a tad overwhelmed.

The first of the year I was promoted at work from insulator to one of two learning management authors. I was and am so thrilled at my new position. It did come with a bit of a learning curve and training. Not only was I responsible for writing the training for my replacement insulators, but I had to train them physically as well because we didn't have anyone else who was knowledgeable in the processes and expectations required for the job. On top of that, I was studying for my Adobe Captivate Certification. I was determined to pass the certification exam and proudly did so! I'm really loving my new job, my coworker, and my boss. They are great people to work with. They have both taught me so much and I strive to always give them my best work. In return, they have allowed me more freedom in my schedule to take care of myself and my family. 

Last month was a big change for me as my boyfriend and I decided to close the distance. He has been staying with us and helping me out with managing the house and kids. He has been such wonderful support and comfort to me through some really tough times.

Sunday my Granny passed away. It wasn't sudden though it does feel sudden. She has been ill for a while, but her health declined rapidly last month. I was able to talk to her one last time and tell her how much I loved her and she said she loved me too. My only hope is that she knows I'm going to be ok. She worried so much about me after my ex left and my only wish is that she knew I was healing from that. I found a new love. Better love. Someone who not only cares for me but also thinks the world of my little geeklings and accepts them for who they are.

Yesterday we laid her to rest. It was a beautiful service and so many people showed up to pay their respects. She was so loved by the community and the little church where they always attended every Sunday was completely full. There were so many people that many of them had to stand in the back. I was so proud of my family. We came together to support each other, and most of all to support my grandfather.

She leaves behind a great legacy of three children and eight grandchildren. She was the best grandma anyone could have wished for. My wish after yesterday is that we don't drift apart now that she is gone. That we continue to show up. That we take care of each other and of the husband she left in our care.

My heart is heavy. I didn't expect to feel this pain in my chest so soon after I had finally gotten it to pass. I feel selfish with my grief. This is life. We live, we love, and we lose. Until our time comes and we leave this existence. I hope I leave as great a legacy as she did when my time comes. To love unconditionally and do my best, not just for those I love, but those who need love to survive.

I'm sure the pain will pass as it did before, but for now, I'll sit with it, learn from it, and think hard about the lessons she gave us.

I have much to do these days, but I will continue to work hard, love hard, and enjoy the little things life has to give. This is my promise to you, Granny.

I hope I make you proud.

I'm an author!

A lot has happened in the past couple of months since my last post. Something amazing. A new position opened up at my work for LMS author.  I put in for it thinking "What's the worst thing they can tell me? No?"

A month passed and I figured they found someone to fill the position. Then one day I got a message for an interview. They wanted to read some of my writing and to know my hobby. After talking a bit they let me know that yes I'm qualified but they want to look at the seven other applications and will get back to me in a few weeks. I was a little dejected thinking there was no way they would accept a self taught hobby writer.

A few days later I got another message asking for a second interview. With my fingers and toes crossed, I go to the meeting. They basically said they really liked my interview and wanted to hire me for the position.

I was so over the moon happy! Within a week I was transferred from working in the shop to working a desk job. Writing! Sure it's technical writing but it's writing. I am officially being paid to write!

Not only am I being paid to do what I love, but the hours and more relaxed atmosphere has been extremely beneficial for the kids and me. I see them every morning before school and work, and my weekends are guaranteed to be spent home with them! This has even been much easier on my fibro as I'm not having to push through the pain just to make it through my ten-hour shift.

It's been a few weeks into my new position and all I can say is I love it! The greatest thing is, this position is totally new in the company as well so I will be helping to set new standards for how this position operates. I get the opportunity to work hard and finally feel like I'm giving back to the company that saved my little family when we needed it the most.

To think all the heartache and struggle could lead to such a blessing. 

These past couple of years have made me stronger and wiser. Strong enough to take chances and make a better life for myself and my geeklings. Wise enough to know what risks will be beneficial to us.

I'm done surviving. I'm ready to thrive!

Signed,

The new Amy

The end.

I’ve been absent this year. Absent from writing, from art, and from many other things that I enjoy. I’ve been healing.

In January of 2020 my husband left me. I won’t go into the drama of it all because I’ve learned it doesn’t matter anymore. It happened. It’s over. It’s time to move on.

Last week was our divorce hearing and we both agreed on everything in a civil manner. It took me a long time to get into court and by then it was obvious there was no fixing us. After court we got as close to closure I think I will ever get. I’ll never really know what happened. Why I wasn’t enough or why I was allowed to be put through so much pain.

That pain. It was like drowning but never-ending.

I struggled a long time with my grief and thankfully wasn’t alone through it. I had family and friends to look in on me when I was at my lowest. I’m thankful for all those who helped me through this life lesson. I learned that I am fine being who I am. I feel a lot. I love a lot. And when I hurt, I hurt a lot. I’m a weirdo, and I’m totally ok with that. Most people can’t handle me but I’ve learned that I can’t allow that to bother me anymore.

The Ex and I have decided to put the past behind us and try and be friends. We have both moved on in relationships and are happy now. Well I hope he is as happy as I am in mine. Michael has been everything I wanted in love! He is the kindest soul I've ever known! I can only hope Daniel finds the same in his new girl.

Sometimes people are too different to make things work, and love is not enough to make it. And that's ok! Things evolve and we live and learn. There are no more hard feelings from me on what happened. I'm even sleeping better!

For the sake of the kids I will do my best to always involve their father in this family.

My wish for the future is a happy co-parenting family where we are all free to be who we are!

#FridayFire Chapter 13 and Life Changes

This week had the promise of another unsuccessful week of job hunting and rejection letters. I had already started browsing and applying to jobs online and was to the point where I was about to go to another temp agency and see if they could find something. Then Tuesday morning I got an email for the big job I had my fingers crossed for and really wanted.

Sorry, but you won't be moving forward in the hiring process.

With all that is going on and my desperate need for a good-paying job to take care of my kids, this email nearly crushed me. So, I immediately sent them an email back begging them to reconsider. With little hope of anything coming from my email, I set out hunting for more applications.

Half the day passed and I had stopped to tell my family of the disappointing email I had received that morning. Just as I said "I got the rejection email..." my phone chirped with a new text message. My email had gotten through and they had a job offer for me! I jumped around excitedly before running out to my car and to go accept the last-minute offer. While it wasn't the position I applied for, it was a steady job that will provide well for myself and the kids.

I was told I am the first to be sent a rejection email and then be hired that same day.

The moral of the story? Don't give up hope! Keep pushing and never settle for no.

Now I just have to prove to them that I will be everything I promised in my email. No pressure right?!

At any rate, this new position may take some time to get used to and may get in the way of writing until I'm accustomed to the hours and work. I'll have most weekends free, and occasionally a Friday free here and there, but I may fall behind in chapters so I'm going to slow down on the number of chapters I put out weekly. It was originally my intention to only publish one chapter a week anyhow so I will return to doing that.

I hope you enjoy chapter 13 and please be patient with me as I learn my new job!

Wish me luck out there next week!

#FridayFire Chapters 9-12

I've been slacking a bit on getting my #FridayFire out each Friday. In fact, I've missed several Fridays this month. To be honest I started this to push me to finish editing my novel and to see how people will receive it. I'm not very confident in my writing but I do love my story and want others to as well. Here lately however I've also had to struggle with depression and anxiety which zaps all drive to do anything at all. So I end up pushing myself through the labor of keeping up the house and yard work until I can't anymore. By then I'm too exhausted to edit. Or so I tell myself. It's an excuse and I know it. So I'm working on setting up a certain amount of time to write each day so I can't use that excuse anymore.

My life is in turmoil at the moment which also makes staying focused more difficult and has attributed to the deeper depression and anxiety issues. I've realized now that I can't allow that to stop me from completing my goals. In fact, I'm now in the process of creating a ten-year plan. I want to set goals for in ten years down the line that I myself can accomplish for myself so when my children are grown and no longer need me I will have a purpose in this world.

One of those lofty goals I started months ago. Get this book done and published! Be it through traditional or self-publishing. I'm not far from being done with the final edit either!

With the help of all of you reading my book I think I can achieve at least this one ten-year goal and make a better future for myself. So please stick with me through my moopy days and feel free to send me a nudge if I get to slacking again. Knowing that there are people out there that enjoy and look forward to my chapters each week is a great motivator and mood lifter.

If you haven't heard yet, I have a discord I am starting up for people to stay in contact and chat with me. I'm planning some fun once I get some members so feel free to join. You will also get notifications when I go live on Twitch and get art and writing sneak peeks!

I hope you enjoy Chapters 9-12 this week and I look forward to getting you next week's chapters!

#FridayFire chapters 6-8

Sorry for the delay on chapters. Last week was a difficult one for sure.

As I posted on social media my grandmother had a seizure and had to be admitted to the hospital, but my grandfather wasn't allowed to join her because of the covid rules... even though they were going back to business as usual on Monday. Thankfully they released her early saying she had plenty of care at home. I think they just regretted not allowing Grandfather with her and were paying the price of her honesty. Then we had to talk her out of going to the races as soon as we got her home. After many failed attempts to wheel herself to the gate at a snail's pace, she finally relented and went to bed.

Many thanks for all who checked in on her <3

I hope you all continue to enjoy Wild Fire and that you have an amazing weekend!

Friday Fire Chp 3-5

It's Friday and that means time for more Wild Fire! I hope you are enjoying my story so far. If so please remember to leave me a comment either in this post, on the document, or on any of my social media links! Critiques are also welcome but no trolls, please. If you're just out to be mean, take it elsewhere. 

I would also like to remind everyone of my discord server, Araili's Den. On it will be updates, chats, art, writing, stream notifications, and lots of memes! So join me sometime in some adventures and chillin.

I hope you like this continuation of Wild Fire and that you have an amazing weekend!

Do What Scares You

Last week I did something that terrified me. I put my writing out for the public to read. My first novel which I've worked on for years now sits in its own little menu tab at the top of my website where it will remain until I publish the last chapter. 

I've been told I should get down to the last few chapters and then remove it and release it through self-publishing so people will want to buy it. As an avid reader, I can't do that. It would seem deceitful to me. I want to share this story to its end and if people love it, they will buy it when I self publish. If not, then maybe my next book!

I'm just tired of keeping this book in the dark. It's time to do what scares me and put it out there!

So far I have received a ton of love for my book and it has really made me feel better about my writing. I suffer from a ton of self-doubt but I'm working on trying to be more confident in my abilities and more confident with being who I am. This project or experiment is helping rebuild the confidence I once had when I was a strong military woman who was treated as an equal from the men I served with.

I'm using this experiment as a mass beta reader project. What is a beta reader? They are readers who read the final draft of a manuscript looking for errors such as spelling, grammar, and confusing plot points or descriptions. So your comments and critiques are super important in not only allowing me to grow a thicker skin so to say but to bettering this book as a whole.

I hope you will feel comfortable enough with me to give me honest opinions on what works, and what doesn't.

Friday I will be posting another few chapters. I've decided to do more than one at a time since the chapters are rather short. This was you get to enjoy more story and it really puts some pressure on me to keep working hard to keep up with Friday Fire posts.

I hope you are enjoying this little experiment and feel free to leave comments below on your thoughts on this whole project!

Friday Fire -Wild Fire- chp1-2

As promised our first installment of Friday fire is here! I'm so excited to be sharing something that I have held close to my heart for many, many....many years now.

I started this story as a new mom. I wrote in secret for a long while, scared to admit I was playing pretend on a page. I didn't think of myself as a writer then and had no clue what I was doing. Having been an avid reader though, I found I enjoyed making my own world to live in. The writing was a new kind of escape.

Over time I let people in on what I was doing. Mainly family who were amazed I had kept it secret for so long. They loved my story! I felt it was because they were just being supportive.

My book has changed over the years thanks to editing and many hours with my amazing critique group.

Somewhere along the way, I lost the drive to work on it anymore. I lost my love of writing. I've lost a lot of myself.

But thanks to watching my daughter and her friends work constantly on google docs to create their own worlds, writing their own stories, I am finding that woman I once was. The woman who loved creating and writing, and most importantly who didn't care what others thought of her stories so long as she could live in her own worlds for a time each night.

So today I invite you into my world. Join me, and help me grow this story into the book I always dreamed it could be!

I've decided to use google docs to share my chapters with you. Yes, you may comment, but please be kind. Each week I will add a new chapter or two depending on the length of the chapters. The previous week's chapters will remain in the document for anyone new to the page to jump in and catch up. Please do not share the document itself. If you wish to share with a friend, link them to my webpage where they can sign up for notifications of my posts. Please do not copy my work. All graphics within the document were designed by me and are my property. If you wish to use the designs email me for permission.

Without further delay, please enjoy Wild Fire -chp1-2

Friday Fire

If you are still following me here on my little island on the internet, have I got news for you! And if you are new, welcome, settle in, and have patience, as I am always a work in process!

Big news! Starting this week I will be introducing Friday Fire. What’s this? I'll be sharing a new chapter of my ever work in progress Wild Fire in order to spur me into finishing edits and someday publishing my first novel.

A lot has transpired this year that has lit the fire in my heart once more to be the woman I once was. I've allowed my depression and anxiety to strip too much from me and this is just one of many changes I'm making to better myself and my life not just for me but for my pack as well.

Who's my pack? Family and friends who have always had my back. And in the future, I will be extending my pack to all who help show support for me through gaming and writing and art. I hope you will join my pack here and on my twitch channel!

Many great things in the works here folks and I'm super excited to start this new adventure with you all!

See you Friday with Chapter 1 of Wild Fire!

Discord~ Araili's Den

Hello lovelies!

As you may have noticed the graphics have changed around here and now reflect my twitch graphics. Things are coming together and I'm extremely excited. Despite my recent setbacks due to family needing my assistance the past few weeks and a few plumbing issues I've had to attend to, I've managed to link all my accounts under one brand.

Today I finished setting up and launching my brand new discord server (pun intended)! Everything that will be happening either here on my website or on twitch will be available in the discord. Later I will also be sharing chapters from my writing and art projects or commissions.

As my brand grows I hope to have more roles and fun activities to do within the discord server and here. So stay tuned because there is much more to come!

Come join me on my adventures!

Click here to join

What's Arai in 2020

Happy New Year!

It is officially 2020 and with that comes all the wonderful resolutions and such. So, what’s going Arai in 2020?

Well, there will be updates within my discord that will be released for use along with my blog, art, and twitch activities called “What’s goin Arai”. As my gamer name is Araili, a play on the word awry. Why? Because things always seem to go awry with me. I’ll be focusing on my branding and merging everything to work as one brand revolving totally around me and who I am as a gamer, writer, artist, mother, yada yada yada…

Speaking of writing… I’ll be focusing certain hours of the day to dedicate totally to writing. Keep an eye on my twitter or discord when it arrives because I may be sharing excerpts of what I’m working on.

My blog will be getting a makeover this year as well. I’m not certain as of yet what I want to go with, but it’s been a few years since I’ve done anything here. The recent renewal of my web address made me realize how long I’ve neglected this place. It’s time I refresh this place and really work on drawing in new readers! I’m thinking of a serial web series that I can post right here.

Art commissions will be coming as I get my schedule situated. With that comes more art streams.

I’ll be streaming some games more as well. FFXIV and probably Minecraft. I may branch out more to other games depending on time. As you can see I’m cramming a ton into my schedule
as is.

Many wonderful things that I would like to get going this year that I have said I would like to do for some time now. I hope you will travel with me in my adventures this year!!!

A Fellowship of Friends

Many know by now my love of the MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV. I've been blogging a bit more about it this year as I am bringing my gaming, art, and writing all into one space.

For a long time in my FFXIV experience, I was a part of a large FC (guild) and I helped to run it with a council of friends and the leader of the FC. Over the summer, however, things came to light of how horrible our leader was treating others and manipulating us. So after an exodus of over a hundred people, a ton of drama, and being called every sour name this "leader's" small mind could utter, we created our own community. While we held no animosity for those that chose to stay, many of us just could not follow or trust this leader and needed to find happiness our own way.

It was a hard few months while we managed the turmoil our leaving had caused not only to us but those that stayed behind. Our FC had been close. The friends I made being so dear to me I called them brothers and sisters. Now those that left were called traitor by our ex-leader because we chose not to follow their dictatorship, and the lies they spread about us took a toll on us all. Our hearts broke and many of us suffered anxiety and depression after the split. We did the best we could to support each other through those strenuous days.

To most this was just a game, but the relationships forged in this game world are so very real.

After we set out on our own many of us went into other FC's or made our own. But we had a discord connecting us and an in-game linkshell. We started running player made events together, having parties, Halloween events, running treasure hunting parties, doing daily content, and even playing other games together. See, though we had split into many factions, our bond was stronger than ever!

Then during a live letter stream, it was announced that a new feature of the game would be available. Fellowships! It was like Yoshi-P heard our troubles and gave us a tool to help us through.

This feature allowed us to plan events through posting on a board within the game. All of our friends' FC's could be added to keep track of all the amazing stuff we were doing together. Thus, The Fellowship of Friends was made!

With the latest 5.1 update we were also given a new raid that was a collaboration with Nier. The first Friday after the new raid dropped our Fellowship gathered for the new 24 man raid and filled EVERY position! Not only that but we cleared it in under an hour and with only one wipe (where you fail a boss battle and must start that battle once more).

The pride we all felt had us giddy and giggly. We had a blast storming The Copied Factory together and even stuck around for commemorative screenshots after.

This post is not to dredge up months old drama in any way. This post is a celebration. This post is about the pride I have in my friends and how much I love them! People ask me why I enjoy this game so much. It's for times like these! When you and your friends overcome all the obstacles put before you to create something amazing and have the best of times together.

I couldn't share my adventures with any better people!

If you play Final Fantasy XIV feel free to stop in and say Hi! My game name is Aralina Arai'li from Midgardsormr. Interested in checking out FFXIV for yourself? Play for free today! If you need any help with set up, send me an email. I'd be happy to assist!

Turning on the Nightlight

Writing is a hard enough job without having to manage a chronic illness around it.

For nearly ten years now I have suffered from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Migraines. The day to day pain and exhaustion from the fibro is torture, but the frequent migraines… I honestly have no words for the agony I’ve suffered. 

It’s like having your head in a vice while someone spoons your eyeballs out of your head repeatedly. It’s not being able to sit up because movement of any kind will make you vomit. It’s medicines that are supposed to help but only make you sicker. It’s hiding in the dark with a pillow over your ears and a cold cloth over your eyes for hours until you can finally manage at some semblance of a human being.

It’s awful.

Many times the migraine is tolerable though. Yes, I’m miserable and in pain, but I’m capable of sitting up and even walking about getting chores done, albeit in the dark or as near dark as possible. When you have a migrain you avoid the light as best you can. I’ve learned over the years that it is mainly the harsh blue light from electronics and bright fluorescents that stab at my eyes the worse.

Most phones these days have a blue light filter that you can activate by swiping down and opening the drop-down tray (with flashlight, bluetooth, ect) and clicking the blue light filter button. It's mainly for use before bed to help your brain settle before going to sleep. Blue light keeps the brain active and hyper and many will find it more difficult to sleep soundly if they use their phone before bed.

I’ve found when having a headache, activating the blue light filter lessens the stabby pain if I need to use my phone. So I got to thinking how wonderful it would be to have this feature on the PC so even if I was having a mild migraine I could still work on my writing projects from the comfort of my darkened room.

Simply turning down the brightness isn’t enough.

So I went to my system settings in windows 10 to see if I could recreate a blue light filter on my PC and found Nightlight.

To activate go to your settings>display> and right under brightness and color, you will see the option to toggle on Nightlight. Below the toggle on you have more settings that when clicked will take you to a new settings page where you can set up a time for a nightlight, set the strength, or just switch it on and off. This feature is extremely useful to all those who suffer headaches and migraines.

Filtering out the blue light makes it possible to sit at the PC even if you have a mild migraine. Granted a full-blown monster migraine won’t allow you such amenities but if you are in the throws of one of those meanies, I doubt you’ll be worried about your writing, or anything aside from just breathing and surviving.

This nightlight is also handy if you spend a lot of time at the PC to prevent headaches and eyestrain as well, so even if you don’t presently have a migraine, you may want to try it out.

I hope you find this useful! Let me know in the comments how this handy feature works for you.

Following My Daughter's Example

The house is quiet except for the occasional giggle of my son. Almost too quiet. His big sister isn’t tormenting him or pestering him. I tiptoe to the mess of a bedroom she calls her evil lair, peek around the corner, and see her. She’s sitting on her bed writing in a notebook.
Loudly I exclaim “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!”
The surprise attack has the desired effect.
She jumps nearly off the bed then glares at me. “Moooooom!”
Snickering I again ask what she is up to.
She explains she is writing a book.

That’s right folks. My daughter has become a writer! *Insert proud mom face here*

She and her friends had started writing a story together about a zombie apocalypse or something of that sort, and she had fallen in love with the act of storytelling. I now can find her curled up in her favorite corners about the house writing in her notebook and proudly telling me each night how many chapters she was able to get done. She has always had a love for reading, ever since I taught her when she was three because she simply could not wait for pre-k to learn to read. She was already piecing words together from billboards or road signs. Now she is using her creativity to use those words and make her own stories come to life!

I’m impressed. I’m Proud. I’m... jealous?

I admittedly am quite jealous. She has that joy of writing that I lost years ago when I moved from Abilene. I’m not sure how I lost it really, but writing became a chore. I put it off. Made excuses. Eventually, I quit trying at all.

After watching her work on her story the past few weeks I started feeling that urge to work on my own stories. I’ve always got some ideas brewing, and have quite a few notes and scribbles in my notebook, but have never had the drive to follow them down the rabbit hole again, until now.

The last two weeks all I can think of is stories. Reading stories, editing stories, fleshing out new stories. I want my stories to live! I want to share them and say I did something.

So I’m back at it again. Working through the mood that I am nothing special, and breathing life back into my stories, and I have my amazing, beautiful, creative daughter to thank for lighting that spark once more!

New Additions and The Adventures of Po

I've had this blog for quite some time now. Even though blogging has become less popular for the aspiring writer, I have continued to pay for my web name and contribute to the page when I am in a mood. Generally coming up with an off the wall topic once a month or so. Lately, I have been stepping away from this being a writers blog and making it more of an everything about me blog.

If you know anything about me by now, you know I'm into many hobbies. Art, gaming, reading, and writing are only a few of the many things I entertain myself with. This year I have tried to veer more towards allowing my blog to reflect the variety that is my interests. Now I plan for so much more. I'm bringing my daughter in for her own writings. She plans to start working on a type of foodie blog which I told her she is welcome to use a page from my site to write it. (Can you say proud mom?)

She is also joining me in my favorite MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV as the young Miqo'te adventurer Swaggiekawaii Potatoe (Po for short). We plan to do co-streams this summer and we will be making a page here to chronical the adventures of Po.

So please keep an eye out for our streams and check back here for more information on The Adventures of Po!

Streaming to Affiliate

As I have mentioned a few times here now, I'm looking into becoming a streamer.

Sounds fun right? Sit in front of a screen and do what you love for the entertainment of others. A dream come true, right? Bahahaha! NO!

I created my own overlays

I am a super shy, super awkward little person, and going on stream really makes that good ol' anxiety monster squirm. See, she doesn't like to be put in the spotlight. She would rather hide in her dark den and growl and snarl at all those who attempt to disrupt her solitude... including her own family at times.

Also did my own logo and buttons for the stream info page

This is one of many reasons I have taken up streaming. I'm there to talk to an audience. Now, I'm not so bad as Mia Thermopolis in Princess Diaries. I don't get sick from being "on stage" so to speak. But while I'm on stream my nerves are stressed, my anxiety spikes, and it often leaves me exhausted and sore thanks to the Fibro. Doesn't mean I'm going to give up though. I hope to one day be able to create great entertainment that people love. Like my art, my writing, and all my other creative activities, I like to make people happy.

Photoshop stream layout and also will be used for writing stream

Right now I am working towards Twitch Affiliate. You get more perks than the average member, including subs and bits which can earn you money. After that, I would like to try for partner. Push myself as far as I can. Build a community and hopefully make some new friends, all the while doing things that I love like art, writing and of course gaming.

But I need help and support.

I need followers, I need people to come to my channel and chat with me and the other viewers, and I really need everyone behind me pushing me to keep at it, and not give up just because I'm scared.

So if you have a chance to stop into Araili's Den, please do! Come say hi, ask me questions, create an account and give me a follow. It will alert you when I go live! I also have a Discord that will be an official hangout for all those who wish to follow.

Hopefully, after the internet is fixed (insert internet provider drama here) and I can get back to streaming more regularly, I can set up a schedule so you can catch your favorite streams. Until then you can check out my channel, discord, and twitter to stay up to date on my streaming activities!

Writing in the dark

My FFXIV Character Aralina Arai'li

As most of you know I’m a pretty avid gamer. My ultimate game being the MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV.

Aralina

In this game, there are free companies, or what most people call guilds in other games. It’s a group of players who band together to help each other out in game. Our FC is large and one of the top FCs on our server. We also have several social media outlets to stay in contact with each other. Many of them I am in charge of as an officer of our FC. One of these outlets is Discord. A voice and text chat app. You can talk with your friends while running content in game for quicker easier communication or just sit and BS.

What does this have to do with writing? Wait just a moment, I’m getting there.

So I’m working on my edits late one night in an empty house. One of my writing quirks is I like to watch paranormal shows and spooky movies while I write. I’m making progress, chugging along through the WIP and all of a sudden I hear a loud and boisterous “Ahoy, Aralina!”

Aralina and Siegfried

My Chihuahua and I jumped clear out of the chair.

I realize that somehow Discord had connected of its own accord and my friend Siegfried had popped into the channel I was unwittingly sitting in to check in on me. Flustered, I closed the chat without a reply. This prompted Sieg to message me to see if I was ok (because he is a super sweet dude!) and I then had to explain how he had scared the pee out of me and my little dog too…

So kids, lesson learned. Always ensure discord is disconnected when writing horror in a dark empty house while watching paranormal shows.

Clawing my way back

I’ve been quiet far too long. I had given up. I didn’t feel I could or should write, I didn’t think I was much of an artist, and my overall faith in my own worth was at an all-time low.

That has changed. My family is building me back up. They push me to be better, not for their sake, but for my own well being. They push me to write, drag me out of the house and insist on spending time with me. They are extremely vocal about my capabilities as a writer, to a point where I am clawing my way back to the keyboard each day to tackle, “just one more chapter…”

I want to do this for myself. I want to succeed and show myself how wrong I am about myself. I guess you could say I am starting my new year's resolution a month early. My goals are to finish my edits for Wild Fire, outline and write the sequel, finish writing Mommas Here, and of course more blogging!

I have many things to write about these days, from the armored combat league our family is obsessed with, to my attempts at streaming and gaming, and then there is the writing and the writing stream I've been working on. I’m getting excited just typing this!

Yep, it’s time to change my way of thinking. This isn’t work. This is fun. I’m a lucky girl to have such supportive family to remind me of what a gift I have!

I hope you will bear with me as I excavate this talent, and share with me in the rediscovery of my love of writing!

Creating Happy

It's been a rough start to a new year. It seems like whatever can go wrong... will go wrong. Not going to lie, it's taken nearly all the steam I had built up just to keep my lil' noggin above the water and keep from drowning.

As usual, I turn to creativity to rejuvenate that steam. I don't know why making art of any form seems to pull me from the gloom I settle into. It starts with doodles on paper, then progresses to photoshop paintings, and if I'm lucky I pick up enough momentum to write.

This week I have opened up Wild Fire for the absolute final edit. Everyone will be happy and I can go on to work on my other works without complaint that I should finish WF first. I'm chugging right along on the edits, though, and after such a long absence from this story, I'm actually enjoying the read through.

I've started to stream my art from time to time. It's not much right now because I haven't been consistent, but I hope to make a real go at it. It pushes me out of the shy shell and forces me to socialize a bit. Keep an eye out for my next stream!

I'm also contemplating opening up art commissions... Something I've never done and am nearly terrified of doing. I still carry plenty of self-doubts that I'm good enough to attempt that venture. I did, however, learn to make twitch emotes today, and gifted a streamer I was watching the first one I ever made. He was cracking me up while playing FFXIV and his cat wanted in his way. He kept yelling "CAT! No cat not now!"

So I did what I do when something amuses me, and doodled it. Then since I was studying how to make emotes, I turned it into one.

The streamer thought it was so cute and thanked me on stream! Yay!

I'll take all the happy I can get right now, even if it is giving away free emotes to strangers. What can I say, making other people happy, makes me happy!