That's right, today I am to learn not to be selfish. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is selfish in some way or another. In this instant gratification world today, people's selfishness is worse than ever before. You ask so much of others. When being selfless in love you have to learn to think more for the other than for yourself. You can't help but be a little self-centered from time to time, that's only human, but if you don't curb the me, me, me impulse, and do more for your spouse, your relationship is doomed.
Last night was night three with very little sleep. At three a.m. I finally broke. It was selfish of me, but I was frustrated to be the only one suffering the lack of sleep in order to calm the kids, or quiet the dog. I'm ashamed to admit that in my frustration, I threw a tantrum that woke my husband, and probably scared the jeebies out of him. My husband said, as he was reading over my shoulder just now, that it wasn't really a tantrum, but more like the anti-Christ had taken over my body. In my own defense I rarely ever snap but when I do, it's a doosy.
He finally got up to help with the kids and allowed me to get some sleep before I turned into zombie mom, and started trying to eat brains. He spent the rest of the night sleeping with the kids. I haven't had a full night's sleep in nearly two weeks, or maybe longer. The kids are either tag teaming me every hour, the dog starts whining, or my husband transforms himself into a chainsaw resting right next to my ear. So yes, when it comes to sleep I can be a tad bit selfish.
What I learned from that experience, was that instead of allowing myself to get to that breaking point, I need to let my husband know when I am getting to the edge and allow him to help me. I need to quit taking everything on by myself and instruct my hubby in what he can do to make it a little easier on me for the benefit of the rest of the household. As the old saying goes, if mama isn't happy, no one is happy. I have been much happier lately after my husband and I have started to talk more, and helping each other more in the daily chores of raising a family. We are both still learning, but our relationship has gotten much stronger over this past week. Even after my little episode last night. We just laugh off those moments where we screw up, and try to make the best of what we learned from the mistake.
Today we have family driving in from Arkansas to spend the holiday with us. I have been extremely busy trying to ready the house, plan what I will be cooking, and figure out where everyone will be able to sleep. It's possible I got myself a little stressed in all the excitement. I'm looking forward to having my sisters here this weekend. They are such fun to be around. Instead of getting worked up on how to make everything work out, I need to just relax and enjoy the time we have with them. Yes, I'm a bit of a control freak. It's inherited, and something I have been working on for quite some time now.
There will be little time to write this weekend, so I will concentrate on my family, and do my best to update my blog. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!