Do you remember that scene in Twister, when the tornado was tearing through a shed that held our hero and heroine, and all they had to keep them grounded was a leather strap and some rusty pipes sticking out of the ground? I sometimes relate that scene to my life.
My kids can destroy a house faster than an F-5 tornado. With no warning they turn into wailing banshees, and start throwing things around, shredding paper, and dumping drawers. It’s not pretty, and usually ends with me locking them in their rooms for time outs, and me hiding in my bathroom. I swear, they are possessed. As babies both kids would make the Grudge noise from their cribs late at night. Freaked me out....
I love the expression I get when I tell someone what it is I do. That look of “is that it?”
Is that it? I get up and spend my day cleaning up after others, wiping their butts, feeding them, teaching them, bathing them, making sure they get enough exercise, listening to them fight and scream, trying to break up the fights before they escalate into baby smacdown, listening to non-stop "mom, mom, mom, mom," and then tucking their butts into bed and trying to make sure they stay there. By the end of the day I’m on the edge of a nervous breakdown.
Then let’s add writing a novel to that to-do list.
The only time I have to write is after I put the kids to bed, and I’m usually so tired I just want to crawl into bed and pass out, but I try and resist, because for me writing is like that rusty pipe. It’s what keeps me grounded.
Writing keeps me from getting sucked into the chaos of my life. I look forward to the hour of quiet in the dark when everyone is asleep and I can reconnect with my fantasy world, even if by the time I do get to bed the Hubz is fast asleep and doing his best Vader impression. It’s worth it. With writing holding me down, I’m able to look into the chaos, and see the beauty inside.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a stay at home mom. I get to actually raise my kids. I am teaching them their numbers, and I taught them their ABC’s. I’m teaching them that creativity is wonderful, and to dream big. My four year old is already starting to read and can write her name, and is so in love with books already. They are both extremely talented, love to sing and dance, love to draw and paint, and love making up fantastic stories.
I love what I do. I love that I have the opportunity to be with my kids. No we aren't rich, and I can't run out and go shoe shopping whenever I want (not that I'm big on shoes... maybe books...)
So yes, I am a very proud stay at home mom, and a writer.