Dropping Deadlines

I've talked a lot recently about my possibility of having Fibro. Well, I don’t. What I do have is CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is like Fibro in every way, except I have a virus living in my blood.

So ha! I’m not crazy! Well, not in that sense anyway.

My Doctor admitted to me that she has never dealt with this and would not treat me. Instead, I’m being sent to a specialist… as soon as my referral goes through. Meanwhile, every day I get more tired, more aches, and more desperate for help.

My writing has suffered the most. I've had to drop all deadlines due to my inability to think clearly. I’m NOT quitting. I will still finish my books, and I will still publish my books. It just may not be as soon as I had hoped. I will not publish anything until I feel I am competent enough in my writing, and at this point I’m not.

For those who have never experienced CFS or Fibro, I found the perfect video so you can understand what we go through. I've been feeling like this for nearly three years now, nothing compared to friends and family I know that have this. These folks are my heroes, and through them I have been learning to cope until I can get on a treatment that might revive a tiny bit of my energy.

I have to learn that there is a lot I can’t do, and that I have to pace myself. I choose one big task a day that I must finish, then I attempt as much as I can after that one is done, allowing for generous rest periods.

I hate this. Can’t stand it. But it is my life right now and I will adapt.

I don’t mean to whine, just putting it out there so folks know where I am with my writing, and why I haven’t sent out beta copies and why my blog remains quiet for long periods of time. I promise the beta copies are coming. I just can’t be certain when.

Until then, I will continue to write, revise, and edit when my mind is at its best, and when it is at its worst, I will rest.

IWSG: Don't Quit!

IWSG is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. For more about Insecure Writer’s Support Group visit his page.

When I moved out on my own my mom gave me a lot of things to put in my own place. Among them was a little picture with a ship on it and a poem. This very picture I can remember sitting in the kitchen window where mom would do the dishes every night after working all day, coming home to cook us dinner, and then cleaning house until bedtime. She was a single mother at the time, barely making ends meet, and though I didn't think of it then, that picture must have been a reminder for her every night.

It now sits on my desk, right in front of my monitor, reminding me every day, don’t quit.