Sunday, April 14, 2013

Dropping Deadlines



I've talked a lot recently about my possibility of having Fibro. Well, I don’t. What I do have is CFS, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which is like Fibro in every way, except I have a virus living in my blood.

So ha! I’m not crazy! Well, not in that sense anyway.

My Doctor admitted to me that she has never dealt with this and would not treat me. Instead, I’m being sent to a specialist… as soon as my referral goes through. Meanwhile, every day I get more tired, more aches, and more desperate for help.
My writing has suffered the most. I've had to drop all deadlines due to my inability to think clearly. I’m NOT quitting. I will still finish my books, and I will still publish my books. It just may not be as soon as I had hoped. I will not publish anything until I feel I am competent enough in my writing, and at this point I’m not.

For those who have never experienced CFS or Fibro, I found the perfect video so you can understand what we go through. I've been feeling like this for nearly three years now, nothing compared to friends and family I know that have this. These folks are my heroes, and through them I have been learning to cope until I can get on a treatment that might revive a tiny bit of my energy.



I have to learn that there is a lot I can’t do, and that I have to pace myself. I choose one big task a day that I must finish, then I attempt as much as I can after that one is done, allowing for generous rest periods.

I hate this. Can’t stand it. But it is my life right now and I will adapt.

I don’t mean to whine, just putting it out there so folks know where I am with my writing, and why I haven’t sent out beta copies and why my blog remains quiet for long periods of time. I promise the beta copies are coming. I just can’t be certain when.

Until then, I will continue to write, revise, and edit when my mind is at its best, and when it is at its worst, I will rest.

7 comments:

  1. At least you know what's going on now. I hope you're able to get into the specialist soon! I'm here if you ever want to talk about it!

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    1. Yes! It's a huge load off knowing for sure what it is, and my hubz is much more understanding when I tell him I don't feel good. Ali has been emailing me pretty regular trying to share what it's like for her, so that has been a huge help! Thanks for the support! It's really great to have good friends who care.

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  2. I agree with Kathleen. It is always helpful to know what is going on. Other people seem more understanding when you have a name for your ailments too. I hope that they find ways to help soon! Simply Sarah

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    1. Thanks Sarah! I'm hoping to get an appointment set today *crosses fingers*

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  3. Aw, Amy, good luck with this!! I know it's been hard, and I'm so impressed that you just keep chugging - and it motivates ME on days when I don't think I can possibly sit down in front of the computer and THINK, let alone work.

    Good luck!!

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  4. I enjoyed reading your blog. I had forgotten how hard it was for people with CFS. I have motivation problems too with depression being a prominent figure in my life but at least I know it will go away. I couldn't imagine not knowing my energy will increase. You are a very brave person to post about this and inspire others to keep at it.

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    1. Thank you! Apparently I'm also suffering depression, or so my Doc says. But it has more to do with the fibro/CFS exhaustion. I feel your pain, it's so hard to get the words out when you have lost that joy you feel when writing. After it started to be something I resented doing I decided it was time to seek help. Don't give up! As Dory the fish says "just keep swimming!"

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