I’ve been absent this year. Absent from writing, from art, and from many other things that I enjoy. I’ve been healing.
In January of 2020 my husband left me. I won’t go into the drama of it all because I’ve learned it doesn’t matter anymore. It happened. It’s over. It’s time to move on.
Last week was our divorce hearing and we both agreed on everything in a civil manner. It took me a long time to get into court and by then it was obvious there was no fixing us. After court we got as close to closure I think I will ever get. I’ll never really know what happened. Why I wasn’t enough or why I was allowed to be put through so much pain.
That pain. It was like drowning but never-ending.
I struggled a long time with my grief and thankfully wasn’t alone through it. I had family and friends to look in on me when I was at my lowest. I’m thankful for all those who helped me through this life lesson. I learned that I am fine being who I am. I feel a lot. I love a lot. And when I hurt, I hurt a lot. I’m a weirdo, and I’m totally ok with that. Most people can’t handle me but I’ve learned that I can’t allow that to bother me anymore.
The Ex and I have decided to put the past behind us and try and be friends. We have both moved on in relationships and are happy now. Well I hope he is as happy as I am in mine. Michael has been everything I wanted in love! He is the kindest soul I've ever known! I can only hope Daniel finds the same in his new girl.
Sometimes people are too different to make things work, and love is not enough to make it. And that's ok! Things evolve and we live and learn. There are no more hard feelings from me on what happened. I'm even sleeping better!
For the sake of the kids I will do my best to always involve their father in this family.
My wish for the future is a happy co-parenting family where we are all free to be who we are!
